| Writer's Block: A Little Light |
[05 Nov 2008|08:34pm] |
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Food network - good eats |
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I think there is not a light in the freezer because you normally use the freezer during the sun light hours. At least I normally don't snag a late night snack from the freezer, only the fridge. But it is a good question, I never really thought about it before.
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Updating from the last entry I had about my sisters pregnancy, sadly she lost the baby a couple weeks ago. :( They get to try again in a few weeks so I wish them all the luck on getting pregnant again! I love you guys muches!
I get my feeding tube placed on Tuesday. I don't like looking like a skeleton and my doctor calling me anorexic (I'm not; I'm such a pig when it comes to eating normally). I love food to much, so screw them. It's because of my illness. I'm waiting on my fentynal patch to kick in...and some how the morphine schedule got knocked off today. I won't have my last night dose until after my parents go to sleep. I don't deal with my narcotics because I'm afraid I will measure wrong or just add extra just because I know how uncomfortable I am with this pain. So I never give it to myself for that reason.
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| Quick Update |
[21 Sep 2008|02:47pm] |
What's new in a nutshell:
Got into the hospital again in beginning of September. Have a chest tube on left side. Hopefully get it removed soon. I hate being in the hospital.
I am sick with a very contaigous infection called C. Diff, it is a superbug. It makes you go bathroom a lot and it's very painful cause it makes your butt hurt.
I get sick with all the crappiest things. Cancer, Pulmonary Fibrosis, C.Diff. I like a break please thank you mr person who lives above in the clouds.
My sister came to visit a couple weeks ago it was a lot of fun.
Katie is going to come visit me too, but I don't know how it will work out now cause that infection can last weeks so play by ear I guess. I really want to see her.
Had power outage last week. It sucked.
Got some new games. Hooray. I am playing Tales of Vesperia and I love it.
I'm very tired and sick. I might die soon from my fibrosis; my doctors have talked to me about writing my living will, and my will for my family members and hospice into my house. But I'm not quite ready for hospice. I am working on my living will though.
I hate being in pain all the time. It's the worst thing in the world. I'm doped up on pain medicine all the time. I stay home all the time because I don't feel like getting out. I only go out when I have dr appts. I can't take care of myself that good anymore. I need help from my mama and she's the greatest.
Bye.
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[21 Aug 2008|07:50pm] |
Hey everybody whats up? Thought I would update everybody on what happend to me this past weekend & week. On Friday morning I was feeling a-okay, I woke up and started to do routine things. I started to feel really naseous and began to vomit uncontinually. by then my mom left me for a couple hours to run some errands I told her I would be fine while she was out. A couple hours later she came back and I was still vomitting and by then I couldn't catch my breath like something was starting to choke me. Mom started to be panicy and was going to take me to the ER and was trying to dress me herself. All I remember saying to her was call ambulance - call the ambulance then apparently I passed out afterwards, I turned blue. The paramedics came and took me to a ER that was close by in the area. If the paramedics didn't come when they did they told me I would've died on the way over. I don't remember much passing out but I remember a white bright warm light and suddenly I heard sirens and the paramedics talking to me with the breathing mask over my face.
I remember being hoisted onto the ER table at the first hospital - with all the nurses trying to start a IV on me and with heavy heavy oxygen going with a big ol mask trying to get me stable. I was in between shock and unconciousness/conciousness I let them do whatever they wanted. My poor mama I kept telling her I was okay and kept giving her thumbs up. I was very talkative even though I had the mask on. :D After I managed to kick myself back to reality I was stable enough they tried to get some information from me. Finally I was told they wanted to transfer me to the Hospital I always gone to, which was downtown so they were gonna transfer me to downtown. They put me on the helicopter and flew me over there, it was a very fun ride I was concious so I was able to see a very pretty sunset. I was in ICU for 3 days and a regular room for 2 days. Yesterday I was able to finally breathe on a cannula and stuff on my usual 3 liters of O2. I got diagonsed with pnemounia, I still have antibiotics left to take. Cause of my veins being so crummy they stuck a artery line in my groin area. I watched them place it & thought it was the coolest thing ever. Why I dunno, lol. They wanted to try and drain some fluid that had started to build up but the radiologists disagreed with the doctors saying it wasn't worth the risk to have my lungs collapse. The fibrosis will always be around, but my right lung is trying to rexpand so I've been having some extra pain with that. I'm sure alot more happened but that is what I mainly remembered.
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[13 Aug 2008|07:01pm] |
I am tired of suffering.
I sometimes wish it hurry up and end.
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[31 Jul 2008|09:21pm] |
I hate being sick with a lung disease.
The End.
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| Before I Head Off To Play Final Fantasy Fables Tonight.. (WII) |
[15 Jul 2008|09:45pm] |
I'm going through E3 game lists and trailers and updates. Personally I dunno why people are complaning about how "crappy" it is now. I don't see it. New announcements of games I am interested in makes my wallet even thinner of cash. I have to buy my bro in law's birthday present next week or else I will totally forget -- Yes I had to type a reminder to me. I did almost forget BUT I DIDN'T SO HAAAAHAAA STUPID BRAIN! *triumphs*
Back to E3 coverage... and I wuv's my Jason lots. <3
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| Video Game Randomness - What Are You Playing This Weekend?!? |
[05 Jul 2008|07:22pm] |
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This weekend I hope to dive into playing:
A. Guitar Hero On Tour [DS] - I completed the easy mode. It's such a fun game! Hopefully I'll be able to get used to the added button on the Medium mode, my hand is very tiny and it's hard to reach over to the button sometimes.
B. Mario Superstar Baseball [Cube] - To get ready for Mario Super Sluggers on the Wii that is coming out in August.
C. Zelda: Twilight Princess [Cube] - I didn't get really far into the game when I first started to play it, hopefully I will remember what I was doing once I load up the file so I won't have to start over. I will be moving my gamecube memory card to my Wii, so my Wii can get much needed updates and so I can add 2000 more wii points for the store. I think I have around 5000 points to spend in there.
D. Kung Fu Panda OR Lego Indiana Jones [360] - Haven't started these yet but I don't know if I will even though I say I'm going to.
E.
Pogo. com - I only have 2 more weekly badges to achieve but they should be easy.
Yes, I have no life! ^_^ But at least I'm having fun doing it.
:P
PS ~ I've had a awesome weekend so far cause I've felt really good for once. I love feeling like this, it doesn't come around that often for me anymore. Other then having lack of sleep.
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| What I've Chosen To Get (I think) in Aug/September Game Wise ;_; |
[30 Jun 2008|08:23pm] |
August
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Wii - Mario Super Sluggers
Wii - Harvest Moon
DS - Harvest Moon
DS - The Sims Apartment Pets
September
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Wii - Samba De Amigo
Wii - Wario Land Shake It
360 - Infinite Undiscovery
360 - Viva Pinata 2
360 - Warrior Orochi 2
DS - Viva Pinata
DS - Spore Creatures
DS - Kirby
DS - Disgaea DS
DS - Dragon Quest IV
DS - Rhapsody DS
DS - Mystery Case Files Millionheir
DS - Master of the Monster Lair
DS - Chronicles of Sonic
PSP - Yggdra Union
October (Haven't really looked this far)
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Ps2 - Dokapon Kingdom
360 - Fable 2
DS - A Witches Tale
Waiting for Release dates:
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The Last Remnant
Star Ocean 4
Little King Story
Valhalla Knights 2
Banjo Kazooie
It will change for sure once more dates get finalized and if stuff gets delayed etc
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[27 Jun 2008|07:50am] |
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Whee. Almost tripped over my own feet trying to get to my cell phone. Either it's from lack of sleep or it's my pain medicine..hahaha.
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| Retail Therapy |
[27 Jun 2008|05:50am] |
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I just spent $192 on Amazon to make myself feel better...either that or talk to some shrink, I rather spend money on video games. I feel better. Plus awesome deals, for the win! My pain patch is working for once, I haven't been to sleep yet (up all night so far), getting good luck on a online game I'm playing on...things are okay for a early morning. This amazon order plus my Gamestop order of pre-orders is my birthday present to me, so I didn't do to bad. I still will owe my dad his money whenever he tells me how much and then surgery bill people get their money. August only has 3 games I really want that I see so far. September will be a killer month, theres a ton of games. Keeping up with it all is hard, and especially if your on a little budget like me you have to pick and choose.
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| Depressing Rant |
[25 Jun 2008|07:38pm] |
I'm sick and tired of being sick.
I hate cancer it ruined my life!
I love/hate chemotherapy for extending what life I have left though shattering it in the end!
I always said cancer wasn't going to kill me, I guess I was right about that.
I hate this pulmonary fibrosis and I am tired of this oxygen machine though I need it to be able to breathe! I hate the pain it brings with every breath, especially when it acts up late at night and then I'm fatigued the next day. I hate how lazy its made me become because I have no enegry. All I do is wake up, meds, eat, computer, eat, nap, eat, pet/play/cuddle with my doggys, nap, computer, sleep, meds.
Why can't I get back to my life..will I ever see it again. My life pre-cancer, before all this mess.
HATE! I sit here typing and clutching my chest cause the pain is horriable, I hide in my room so my parents won't see how much it is bothering me.
I hide behind a brave strong willed smile which isn't all true. Part of that is gone. What is left is keeping me alive I guess. Everybody says how brave I am, I feel like a liar.
I don't want them to see how weak I am. Or anybody for matter.
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[20 Jun 2008|09:46pm] |
I just got home from being in the hospital for 5 days.
Got a diagonsis of Pulmonary Fibrosis due to chemotherapy.
On home oxygen plus a pain patch and my regular inhalers.
I would write more but it seems like nobody tends to read my LJ anymore..bye. :(
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| Yippy Skippy |
[14 Jun 2008|01:33pm] |
My lungs are partially collapsed again, so I see Dr.Robke about what he could do to fix me on Monday. Dr.Robke took care of me last year when they collapsed, he's a cool doctor. I get baby shots in 3 months.
I'm going to the drive in with my dad tonight. Should be fun. Then tomorrow go Outback Steakhouse cause it's fathers day. Amazon finally shipped out the present yesterday and should be here around the 20th, along with the 360 version of Kung Fu Panda.
If he sticks tubes in me I'll prolly spend this next weekend giggling at the Kung Fu Panda game and Lego Indiana Jones while high on pain killer patches. I'm going to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when I first get on the pain killers, it's gonna be TRIPPY. lol.
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| Myself - 2 years of Cancer Remission |
[31 May 2008|09:12pm] |
I've been reading posts on cancer message boards of people having problems one to two years out from treatments. Ever since my auto-transplant I've had issues and I'm about at a year and a half till my second birthday. I'm not complaining of the issues, I'm grinning and bearing it the best I can but it is preventing me from doing what I want to do and keep my goals from being achived -- ala going back to work.
Lungs - I believe the issue is only on my right lung. My recent CT scan picked up something but my lung doctor has not talked to me about it. So I have no clue really of whats going on. But I've had some major problems with my lungs even before diagonsis. I'm currently on Advair and ProAir for asthma symptoms or what he thinks is asthma. I get out of breath really easy even with using inhalers beforehand/ using my rescue inhaler. I have trouble standing for even short periods of time, so showering and doing stuff like that takes way longer then before. Getting out/getting dressed to go out is like a huge thing for me cause of all the enegery it takes.
Migraines - They started out at 3-4 a month, but the past couple months it's dwindled down to one. I get auras before the pain starts. Pain is usually a 7-8 on the scale. Ususally out for at least two days after migraine goes away.
Fatigue - Including the lung problems adding on I get really fatigued. I need a nap almost everyday depending what we do.
Heartburn - Terriable terriable terriable. I got heartburn prior to diagonsis from eating anything spicy. It keeps me up at night. It is 10x worse. It burns usually in my throat.
Other things:
Nasal congestion/drainage.
Coughing with a hack. Usually brings up phlegm.
Chemo-brain/memory loss.
No period for over 3 months.
Major weight loss. Currently trying to get back to at least 100-110lb. I am around 70-72lb as of 6/1/08.
Popping/cracking of joints usually painless unless I pop it myself on accident.
Shoulder pain that goes into lower back, which is prolly after effects from the Neulasta shots. 6-8 on pain scale.
Dry mouth - always need something to drink near by.
Chipped tooth.
Potty issues which I won't go into detail about.
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[13 May 2008|02:45pm] |
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Well I got my CT scan results back, the nurse of the oncologist just called. I'm still in remission - 2 years now (officially at the end of May! But I'm celebrating now). But it picked up a problem with my right lung so they are faxing the report to my lung doctor which I see Friday morning. I knew I wasn't imagining my chest hurting and everything with my breathing lately. I hope I won't be jammed with chest tubes again this summer like I was last summer. I'm taking it easy until my appointment I don't want it to get worse (Once I get explained to me what exactly is wrong).
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[08 May 2008|05:50pm] |
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Waiting for CT scan results are nerve-wracking. *bites nails*
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[17 Apr 2008|02:21pm] |
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I saw my new oncologist today she's nice. I had some labs drawn. I weigh 74 pounds, she wants me to eat twice as much as I do right now...I'm going to see a dietitian once the appt is set up. I see a GI doctor (they are gonna call w/ appt too) and get some CT scans. Then I follow up with her again in June. She doesn't want me to learn how to drive until a little later and she put me off work for six more months (October/November). Ugh. I see my lung doctor on the 2nd of May after I get a chest xray and lung function tests (finally got approved). Lots of stuff..
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| Decided To Do This - Found On Buddies Blog! |
[13 Apr 2008|06:38pm] |
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Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 random things, facts, goals, or habits about yourself. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged. Don't forget to leave them a comment (you're it!) to read your blog for instructions. You can't tag a person who has tagged you.
1. I've never been kissed.
2. All my relationships have been long distance (not saying anything is wrong with that but I never had a actual guy near by me that I am/was dating).
3. I buy too much when I shop.
4. I have tons of games and movies to go through which I haven't cause it seems like I rather be on the computer.
5. I want to work with cancer patients someday. Plus have my Pharmacy Tech license on the side.
6. I enjoy pain killers way to much when I do get them, like it's a mini party in the hospital room until I'm knocked off them. ^_^; But yet I'm not addicted to them because they would be in pill form (and taste horrible) and I'm not willing to crush them just to get a high.
7. I worry about my cancer relapsing everyday.
8. If I was given a death sentence from a doctor, I want to go to Disney World/Universal Studios (the one in FL) before I die.
9. I don't want to be alone. I hate the silence.
10. I want to gain weight, it doesn't seem like I am. I hate being a stick, makes others wonder if I have a eating disorder.
I tag nobody cause I don't know who to tag.
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